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Craptastic thing #381271828 that could only happen to me:

This morning I sprayed my tires down with water to check for any possible leaks (had a nail in one of them couple of days ago that came out without air leaking). No leaks that I could spot, but apparently what I thought was water, was a mix of ammonia and water in a spray bottle.

Now my bike smells like someone pissed on it.